WELCOME TO MY LIFE
Helena Marie Carnes-Jeffries

Lying in bed
Pinching my enormous fat rolls.
I sigh.
Wondering how many miles
I need to bike ride
To even come close
To losing a centimeter.
My cat jumps on the bed
Beside me and sticks her smelly rear
In my face, demanding pets.
Such is the nature of my life.
It’s Labor Day
And I am too depressed to move.
My husband watches TV in the living
room,
Enjoying his day off,
Sitting on the couch playing,
“King of the Remote.”
Like a good little wife
I retreat to the bedroom
To bask in the AC
Knowing that to bother my husband
During football or “sports movies”
Is a sheer act of insanity,
Which merits little redemption.
My husband is having an affair.
The other woman is small and grey
And covered with multi-colored
buttons.

She’s wonderful and exciting.
She transports him to places
I cannot dream of taking him.
She’s the woman who understands.
All he needs to do is stroke her side.
Hit “VOLUME UP or DOWN”
“CHANNEL UP or DOWN”
“MENU”
“GUIDE”
“INFO”
Or
“FAV.”
It’s all the same.
She’s the ultimate little game.
Sitting on his great big throne of
leopard pillows,
I casually pass by
And he holds up the dish
He has been eating out of.
Like a dutiful little wife,
I collect it and deposit it on
The great big pile
That’s stacked up in the kitchen sink,
Waiting for me to do.
I’ll get around to it,
If I am inspired enough.
For now,
I play reluctant housewife.
A game which includes a deep point
Of senseless apathy.